one might say we're banned from that church
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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