So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
