is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
