I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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