when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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