It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
