Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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