I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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