my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
