It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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