Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
