u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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