I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
