Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
