EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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