this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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