This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable