I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something