youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
