yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
