I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
