I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
