I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
