took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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