he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
