I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
