Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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