1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
