do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize