Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
