if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
