I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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