I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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