remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
