I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
