so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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