Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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