she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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