She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
