so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
