I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
