So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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