If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Randomize
