there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
