Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
