Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
