White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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