trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was not drunk enough for that final.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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