the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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