I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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