I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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