you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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