haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
