So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
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After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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