I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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