But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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