Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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