he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
