So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He? As in you personified your dick?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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