i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
