So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sorry about my life...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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