Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
