I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize