thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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