She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you had me at cake vodka
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
