Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
