I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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