do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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