U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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