So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
