I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
